LEE RUBEEN 22

HAHA! Chocolate Cake Kak Shana n Kak Lin.. And so last Sunday.. URTV Team and Kak shikin, Kuwe+Baby Girl..Hafiz Sakmi..Akhrun..Hafiz Printcorp..Waheeda..Kak Mas Yutty..Kak Nik..etc..had our Portluck at Kak Shana House in Mahkota Cheras and the party theme was "Sempoi".. something to do with the "Santai+Lepak+Gosipan", conducted by the Niniriena ideas.. I wore my Blue Cake Shirt with a lil Smirch Pinky .. just good enough for the theme hehe.. and a grey short pants vintage looking chopstick for my foot hahaha :) Kak Shikin..Waheeda..Kak Mas Yutty.. Kakak nini .. Nini..Kak Nik..& Baby Girl Kumwe.. kak ayarina..me n kak niniriena.. Me.. as usual are were quite late, got there around 3.30 pm.. But suprisingly Mak Hayam also late rup..rupnye.. She said the party should be start on 12pm..because of no one can come to party at the 2pm..well..we arrived late..whatever..but the best damn thing that 1st i saw is.. the makanan are fully the table.. kak aisamurni lead.. we...

Last weekend wasn't really my weekend.. It started bad on Saturday morning because the gaji wasnt there and it actually ended pretty awful on Sunday morning.. Hopefully the doomsday ended last night and NOT continue today on Monday.. Monday is not really a good day for me.. So the potential that my bad days could be drag until today is there..But let's at least make today a good day.. Fingers crossed.. Friday night , some friends (niniriena, ayariena & hafiz)planned to hang out at Genting.. Something came up for a friend and we had to wait for him.. That is not good because I hate waitin g..(actually kak aya n hafiz are waiting for me because of the late wake up from landing haha) Eventually everybody fall asleep and the plan was not cancelled.. Finally kak aya got the pretty banker to bring us to Genting..(thx to Wandy for the 3hundred..) then we all continue to Genting with full of laughed..bla..bla..bla..we heard a lot of music..n taking picture as much can..tib..tib..a...

despite my rugged badass rock&roll appearance, deep inside im just a boy..im just really tired and stress up really.. i thought i could take a break for a while but actually i have no time at all..am not out looking for anyone to talk about how tired i am or stressful or what shit is it but i just want to be distracted from it for a while.. but as what i could see, as im looking for everyone, nobody is around..nobody asked how am i or am i okai or anything like that.. but people just want to know what actually the problem can be..seems like noone cares. sad!! i dont even think anyone is really reading this.. maybe 2 or 3 avid readers!! but it seems that maybe ive been living in my world too much..i dont need anyone to tell me ''ohh aww chill relax its okai everyone is like that too blablabla'' i dont need help, i just wanna take a break..ahh well actually i dont even know what i want.. im just really tired thats all..as what carlos tevez once said, ''ehh em...

Kak Ninierina..me & Kak Masturina Guess what? we still in a raya mood.. So, this will be my adventure for the last day of raya ;) Typical me ;) Went directly to have our lunch but didn't have a good appetite, today. Just ate some nasi and rendang daging with ayam kampong that awee sponsor.. My big sista (ruhaya) asked me to stop eating because we already full... Haha, well I don't mind bcoz I'm not really a full actually but just have a shy with someone hahaha.. So yeah, in the end, my sister just finished the lunch meal and bla bla bla..good thing I didn't attend the ayam kampong tasted..After lunch, we doing some of photoshoot with abang ART camera n my nokia Eseries camera..we try our best pose n hope it will be some of American Next Top Model by next year hahaha :) actually a lot of things n topic was there..and we laughed hard together..but im tooooooooo lazy to upload the picture..LAZY is my middle name sometimes..Ninirina plak..trying harder to put everything...

About four days ago,there was a message in my Facebook inbox. This is part of the message.. "... u know what i start suka baca blog u since early this month kot.i baca blog u sebab i rasa ada banyak persamaan antara apa yg berlaku dlm hidup i dan u..plus i perlu banyak membaca sebab i sekolah biase je eiz, i xskolah ingris pon..i try nak improve english i dgn bnyak baca n tulis walaupun byak jugak lagi salah..anyway i rasa i should put on REBLOG like i did for the first time i ambil kata-kata u dlm blog myspace n picture..i xada niat nk copy paste ke apa.tapi i xtau cara nak luahkan apa yg i rasa macam u did.ok i admit it its my fault.i suka baca blog u sebab u simple english dan i nak blajar supaya english i okay. hurm salah i kan sebab xbgtau u...." There was more of the message but I don't think I should tell all here.Well honestly, I never expect any apologies from his for what he did..In fact I am over it after she finally decided to delete the copied blogs.But anywa...

PERHAPS..PERHAPS..PERHAPS.. "It's not a surprise that starting from yesterday,sitting all alone under the beautiful dark sky at night,with the view of the ever so glowing moon and twinkling stars,while listening to music as my cure for loneliness ,certainly has become my daily routine.For what I have to say, I love every moment of it.It makes me feel so calm yet soothing.Just what I need for the time being ;) Well, and this could be my new hobby, perhaps?" Yeah, I'm fucking tired with all this so-called reality drama. Get me outta here! Yes, I can laugh but at the same time I can cry too. When you're getting on my last nerves, you're gonna get what you least expected from me... I gave all my respect and loyalty but this is how you repay me back? Totally unfair! Sometimes, I just wish I could live in my own little happy world with no messy thoughts raining and storming all over you. Just a blissful scene to enjoy :) I desire for that, at this current moment...

Oh how.. I love the ever so enchanting Moon ..tonight.. Wickedly mesmerizing! Well, it's a good thing that from where I am now.. there aren't lots a trees aroundand not to forget less clouds too.. so I got to see the perfect view of the sky.. especially at night, everyday.. My " staring at the moon " session has just ended but.. I wish I could stare at that beautiful glowing moon..all night long.. Once again,Your shimmering light has captured my heart for tonight, Moon!! u r totally vampiric of mind.. p/s: thanks for help me..

Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions. - Anais Nin The truth is, everyone you meet will hurt you at one point or another. You just need to decide who is worth the pain .- unknown The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say. - Erinnez Zent At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them - Yushi Azmie Yasrie

I dislike talking about trust the most.Honestly,I trust nobody.It's challenging enough to even trust myself.How am I to trust anyone else? In a relationship,it's a different case.I expect us to trust each other.I don't know how it is ever going to work without trust.I expect trust from him no matter how hard it could be.When there's an issue about trust,there comes lies and betrayals.Not telling is also considered a lie.At least for me.I don't care how you see it.I only care how I see it.And this is how it is. A lie is a bad thing.A lie will be the worst thing when I came to know the truth later on from other sources.The thing is,whoever it is,when you lied to me.I will find out sooner or later.I don't go search for it.I don't go behind your back being suspicious.But the truth comes to me by itself.So it's NEVER a good move to try and hide anything from me.Seriously. What I am trying to say here is, truth may hurt.But lies hurt even more. It really is n...

actually is nothing there for me to post this entry.. just let people know how hard being me..(wartawan URTV la) on this 15 Oct 09, huzz calling me by phone.. "eiz got imran ajmain for new story" n i said ok.. so i cannot call him because of.. die kt singaporelah! rugi phone aku! so thanks for FACEBOOK.. so just watch my conversational with him! at the same time, act' im really worried bout tomorrow..

Hmm.. Nak emo kejap boleh? kejap je.Jadi melayu kejap la bila emo eh. Rasa dalam hati nak curse or reka ayat ayat mencarut baru tapi apa kan daya lidah saya tak dicipta untuk perkataan perkataan itu.Tapi takpe la at least ada la terasa nak bercursing kan.Tahniah.. Okay so I named him Mr.Deja-vu today.Tapi little did I know that it is really a Deja-vu.Dia memang dah sah sah la Deja-vu tapi tak sangka la pulak the same thing akan jadi lagi sekali kan.Okay maybe patut dah disangka kan since sepatutnya jugak,pengalaman mengajar.Tapi mungkin TAK masuk ajar.haih.. Janji manis,ayat madu memang Champion la.Initially ingat this time it's not going to be THAT easy for you.Then tengok tengok hati sendiri sakit jugak.Memang what the hell la kan?. Takde sakit macam dulu sangat tapi sikit sikit tu ada la.Sikit pun still ada.Patutnya dah takde langsung.Fine la maybe nak acah acah ego tapi tak jadi.hmm.. Okay la maybe sikit tu rasa dia dah berubah. SIKIT je.Tapi dia buat hal lagi.Gosh bagi excus...

"Everyone has their own dirty little secrets and I am keeping one now.I don't feel bad for it nor do I feel proud of it.At some point, I wonder why I let it happened and on the other I feel like there's nothing wrong with it.Truth is, this secret is indeed horrible.I could have avoided it in some ways but I did not. The thing is,I had a choice but I chose negative.Is it a mistake? I don't know.It seems like it's a mistake now but it could turned out to be a good thing,at least for myself.The worst thing about this is that it involves other people.The outcome for this will never be a win for every one involved.Swear,never.In fact,if everyone loses,I am the one who will be losing big time.That's how dirty it is. I always tell myself to think positive,but there is nothing positive in this.Believe me I have tried my hardest to find and think positive about it.The fact is, even if it is positive,it is still bad.Okay maybe,it's not the thing that is bad.Maybe it...

Today is my last datelined at URTV ..Oh anyway.. welcome November! Sayonara October..I should be packing right now but I am too lazy for that..Lazy is my middle name sometimes.. Last month My sister Rohaya at URTV Me eiz, tau tak cerita Sleeq? tak.cerita apa? orang putih? tak..group Singapore. oh..owh band? tak,duo ala2 Evo mentor haha..tp ni lgi Besttt..dengarlah! oh ok. (sounded not interested) My sister (ruhaya) have been crazy over this Singaporean duo sleek which I knew nothing about..she bought these 'Pilihan terbaik Vol:7, pictures, just anything related to that sleek ..She print the posters and hanging on the wall..I thought the singers were so pondan look..So temporary teenage crush..Been there..last2 like a Too phat wow!! owh no i remembered that the sleek is the metadome artist that i found them at cherating baru-baru ini..la ye ke?

"I actually wept last night..I received a call from Abie (my then secret lover).. Early in the day,I sent him a text message asking how was he doing but to no reply,as expected.. Later on he called three times but I just let my phone rang,I didn't answer his calls..At round 11pm, an unknown number appeared on my phone screen,I answered and it was him..His voice was soft and mellow..I could barely hear him..The last time I talked to him was about 3 days ago..He let out everything last night..I was in a complete silent through out the conversation..(abie i dint know what to say)..All that he mentioned last are true,I ended everything between us..I left..I walked away from him and he was and still heart broken..From his voice last night I could feel how upset and down he was..(i x berniat wat u nangis)I've never seen or heard him like that before..He was always cheerful and joyful since the first time I knew him..After he hung up the phone, I cried out of guilt ..I can't ...

well these past 3 days have not been very easy for me.. I've tried not to think to much.. and I guess slowly I'm getting there.. My heart is still wounded but I can say that it's not too bad.. Saturday 3/10 and Sunday 4/10 Metadome took us to Suria Resort in Cherating Kuantan Pahang.. me..and nonie (mangga 0n9) & Zwan (melodi) which seem to be another pride of Pahang.. well it's been a long time since i went to the beach and enjoy the sea breeze.. It's like a perfect timing since I need time for myself after all.. We took the bus together with some of artist like Imran Ajmain, TFC, Sleek, Liyana Jasmay n others..to Cherating and we went under the Second Link od Little Bali..(kot).. it was quite an experience.. But then,It was a sunny day and just so you know.. I hate the Malaysian weather..(perasan haha) we are lucky guys..c..the besties prizes we got.. I might have got the sunburn but luckily it's not so visible.. We tried to playing a crazee games at the e...

Hello blog....... I am currently thinking.. but you probably already know that.. I do a lot of it nowadays, today especially new chapter.. I actually am feeling better now.. After a few messages from the friends and dinasour =D newer chapter.. After a while though i still couldn't get off my chest this feeling of being hunted..Yes, hunted. Someone told me though, to just cherish every second. As we will never know what the future will become.. So i guess that is only the one thing I really am capable of doing. Think to much won't solve anything either. Am I not correct? Mama always thought me to be strong. Not to let others bring me down. I wish I am more like her. Strong. Bold. Brave. She has everything. Its rare to watch her lose faith. More like never. Mama I love u larger than my life. You gave me strength when i am feeble.=D